RAVENLOONATIK.COM

Cassie,

I heard your breathing across the room.
Is death going to take you?
It’s way too soon.
I saw the pain in your beautiful eyes, and if I could ease it,
I would surely try.
I saw the slowness, in your once strong step
Please Cassie, lay down and try to rest.
I saw the pleading in your tired, tired face
Can you go to a safer place?
I feel the confusion, that you must feel
Oh Dear Goddess, is this pain really real?
If you could lay down and just go to sleep
The pain is gone now and you have final peace.

We may have only known each other less than a week, but please know that your “Mum” and “Dad” fell in love with you the second we saw you and we never stopped loving you.
Your sisters, Gypsy, Chelsea and Leah; your grandparents Pat and Jim; your Aunt and Uncle Sheila and Ben hardly got to know you, but they all loved you; the same as you loved them… unconditionally.

The doctors and assistants who supported and cared for you in your sickness, watched over you day and night not because they had to, but because they truly cared and loved you.

You left tiny sweet puppyprints upon all of our hearts.

We will all miss you terribly Cassie,

Cassie Ferr
Born July 25, 2008 - September 25, 2008

Daniel says Buckle up. It makes it harder for the aliens to snatch you from your car.

Daniel sees Chaos. Panic. Disorder. My work here is done.

Daniel�thought he wanted a career, turns out I just wanted a pay-cheque.

Daniel�childproofed his house, but they still get in.

Daniel�is still hot. It just comes in flashes.

Daniel thinks at his age, “getting lucky” means finding his van in the parking lot.

Daniel’s reality cheque just bounced.

Daniel is not 41. I’m $40.95 plus tax.

Daniel is not a snob. I’m just better than you are.
Daniel says keep staring….I may do a trick.
Daniel is DANGEROUSLY under-medicated.
Daniel thinks his wife washes her mouth out with chocolate every time she hears the word “exercise”.

1. China is facing an imbalance in male/female ratios. In about 10 years there is going to be a war for women. The article says that for every 100 girls born there are 120 boys born. Now multiply that by a billion people in China. Yeah that is a lot of men with no prospect for a wife at all, let alone one that they find physically/mentally/emotionally attractive.

2. I like to call this my Crowded Room Theory. Take a room of any size and start inserting people into it. At some point the room will become noticably warmer with every person shoved in. Now imagine that the earth is a room and we have over 6 billion people in it. that is compared to just under 2 billion in 1900. We more than tripled how crowded the room was in about 100 years. Could body heat be the culprit behind global warming.

3. Milk bottlers put a chemical in the milt to make it go sour after a few days to ensure that people are constantly buying their product. The government lets this happen because the states get sales tax on every sale.

Yes, they are a little Kooky, but so am I.

Daniel … the guy who put the laughter in manslaughter.

Daniel wonders if he swallowed his pride… would get phat??

Daniel�wrote on your wall. Now you need to repaint your wall.

Daniel�joined the group �kill all small furry and cute animals�. Remove Daniel as friend?

Daniel�monitors your every status change vehemently. He even knows what that word means.

Daniel�sent you a gift on FaceBook that didn�t cost him a penny. Doesn�t that destroy the main idea of a gift?

Daniel�changed his profile picture. Now he looks a little less ugly.

Daniel�wrote on your funwall �your no fun�.

Daniel�added the �Are You Interested in a Stalker� application

Daniel�commented on his photo �you are amazing�

Daniel�is staring at his facebook waiting for messages to arrive.

Daniel is busy with Jedi business, go back to your drinks.

I had some good thoughts today about how you can recycle your old pair of shoes after buying new ones… Anyone who knows me knows that I can come up with the strangest damn thoughts… I think they’re rather good

Somebody out�there came up with�a cool idea or two to�recycle the 4 litre plastic milk cartons…�so good infact it sparked�a huge TV campaign to advise Canadians�to�recycle them whenever possible…. There was�a gazillion milk cartons�recycled and prevented from entering our landfills…�saving 1.5 square kilometers of ‘extra’ landfill space for the “real” garbage.

Anyway… back to my ideas… Take an old pair of basketball running shoes, place them strategically in your garden like a person is walking in it, unlace them, fold the tongue out and fill the shoe with nice potting soil and plant a (color coordinated) begonia or other hardy annual flower into the shoes.

You can�reuse�the shoe laces on�a tall plant to hold up the flowers.

Ladies… how attractive would�your 5-7 year old high heels (that you haven’t worn in 4 years because it gives you blisters in�that certain spot, but won’t throw them away because you’r waiting to give them to your grandchildren in your will) and place the high heels behid the tall Celeosia’s.

Better yet, for�the taller plants, recycle those CFM’s (Come F*ck Me pumps that you bought but only use them in the bedroom) and tie�the shoelaces�to them to make�the plants sturdy in�the high winds.

Well here’s my big idea… go out and buy�a bright�read concrete brick… and find one sheet of loose leaf paper. Scrall the following on�the paper: “I cannot live my life anymore, I spend countless hours and resources�recycling�and I snapped!! Goodbye cruel world!”

Tie the shoelaces and runners to the brick and walk, bike, drive to the tallest bridge in your vicinity, find�a nice precipice where someone can easily jump over and set the brick, shoes and laces down in front of�the precipice but on�the concrete.

My idea is waaay better idea folks… not only will the City�recycle those shoes for you (properly), but it’ll keep the cops here busy for weeks!!! That’ll give the mayor more incentive to train, employ more cops for our fair city!!

Cheers!

Hi all!!
Yesterday was a typical day in the retail biz.
Keep�in�mind�I�will�mainly�focus�on�the�daily�operations�of�Automotive�and�Customer
Service�departments�since�I�am�a�Manager�and�have�to�deal�with�both�of�these
departments.

Let me paint the overall picture here… we have an Auto Parts department, Auto Service Department, Housewares,
Household, Sports, Tools, Promo�and�Customer�Service departments.
Now, the Automotive parts and Service department takes up roughly one third of the store, with a third of 110,000 sku’s that our store carries.

On a DAILY basis, we at the AUTO PARTS counter have customers who love to “window shop” then we have the serious customers and then we have the “totally CLUELESS” customers who shouldn’t even be in the gene pool let alone being allowed to shop unsupervised in retail stores.
There’s no point in slamming the “Serious” customers, because they are there or calling us for a legitimate reason or price and availability.

The window shoppers:
They are the people who take the time to call us, wait on hold for up to ten minutes then when we come online want to know if we carry a tail LIGHT BULB for their car.
FUCK people!! Get your head out of your ass! NOOOO we only carry half�a�million different light bulbs for ALL different vehicles… BUUUT, we probably wouldn’t have a tail light bulb for your 2000 Chevy Cavalier.

Thats like calling a store, waiting on hold for 10 minutes (Ya think we might be busy?) then asking, “Do you carry a 60 watt incandescent light
bulb for basement light fixture.”

We then tell them “Yes, I’m SURE we do, and I’m sure we have them in stock.”
Wait for it….. Wait for it….
“Hmmmm, can you check please, I don’t want to waste my time coming down there to find out you’re out of stock”

How fucking stupid is that?? You don’t want to waste YOUR time over a $1.99 light bulb you can pick up at ANY GAS STATION on the way to our store (and they WILL have them in stock)…. no… let’s waste the�workers�time�(now�15�minutes…)�who�could�have�helped�2-4�LEGITIMATE�customers�by�now.

The TOTALLY CLUELESS Shoppers:
They are the people who walk into the store, take 15 steps thru the front entrance, see the AUTO PARTS COUNTER, walk straight there and stand in a line up of 2-3 serious�and�Window shoppers… wait up to 5-10 minutes while 4 Parts Counter people are trying their best to serve their customers.
When they FINALLY come up to us, they bitch and complain they’ve been waiting a HALF HOUR (their perception) for service and how UNACCEPTABLE it is. We smile, we apologize, then inquire as to what we can help them find or get for them.

They tell us at that point they REALLY need a furnace filter, Vacuum cleaner bag (household), a fireplace, that really cool wrench they�saw�on�the�TV�or�internet,�ice�skates,�latex�paint,�Christmas�trees,
and�FUCKING�SCHOOL�SUPPLIES.

Do you really KNOW how hard it is to keep a straight face? Do you realize how difficult it is NOT to tell them they are fucking stupid?

It’s one thing to be in a Internet support centre and get a complete dolt on the other end of the telephone. You can at least politely put them on hold and then proceed to swear at the air�or�bitch�about�them�to your nearby unsympathetic coworker.
It’s an entirely different matter when you have a complete and utter idiot standing in front of you, who can read your face, body expressions and can tell quite quickly you think they are a complete idiot.

So… I TRY to politely tell them “No… I’m sorry. The product you are looking for is not located in AUTO PARTS, but rather in Aisle (insert #).”�then�look�to�the�next�customer�to�help�them.

FUCK… Are you starting to see WHY retail business’s are hurting so bad for competent people to help YOU customer out?
Are you starting to see WHY people in the retail business should be APPRECIATED more often?

More to come (I’m sure!)

Well, like the title of this entry implies, I realized the other day that I have been silent far, far too long.

It’s been an interesting year, going on a trip to Brazil (Sao Paulo) for a company I REALLY enjoyed working for. Being laid off in May from said company I really enjoyed working for. The company was (and still is) in financial trouble, but quite frankly, I still miss (most of) the people I worked with,�taught, mentored and befriended.
Took the summer off of work, doing basically nothing, looking for a new job/ career that I felt was challenging.

Well I decided to accept a Manager’s position at one of Canada’s largest Retail stores in a profession I left about 10 years ago to go into computers. Weird how things happen huh?

I left that industry because I felt it was a dead end career, go to school, get my degrees, go into the field I trained in, leave and return to the original career path. In some ways I feel I made a bad move, but in most ways I feel I made the right decision for ME. It’s been far too long since I felt really challenged, and now I feel that challenge again…. and the same frustrations most�of�us feel when we feel impeded from�reaching�our�goals.

While I now am feeling these same frustrations again, I’m reliving a lot of the old frustrations I felt before while working in retail.
The�pure�and�utter�stupidity�of�people�in�general�is�absolutley�fucking�amazing.

This website will now shift from its old ranting and raving about the pure stupidity and
up�and�coming�idiots�(in-training)�in�the�computer�and�internet�support…�to�the�daily operation�and�encounters�of�the�AUTOMOTIVE�PARTS�Department�at�a�local�ummm Tire�store�in�Calgary,�Alberta�Canada.

So cheers all… I’mmmmmm baaaaaacccck!

Now that Vancouver has won the chance to host the 2010 Winter Olympics, these are some questions people from all over the world are asking. Believe it or not these questions about Canada were posted on an International Tourism Website. Obviously the answers are a joke; but the questions were really asked!

————————————————————————————————-

Q:I have never seen it warm on Canadian TV, so how do the plants grow? (England )
A. We import all plants fully grown and then just sit around and watch them die.

Q:Will I be able to see Polar Bears in the street? (USA)
A: Depends on how much you’ve been drinking.

Q:I want to walk from Vancouver to Toronto -can I follow the Railroad tracks? (Sweden )
A: Sure, it’s only Four thousand miles, take lots of water.

Q: Will I be able to speak English most places I go? ( USA )
A: Yes, but you will have to learn it first.

*Sniff*… I crying I’m laughing soooo hard!

A funny thing happened today� well not so funny� Karmic in the end� rather satisfying in some ways… but read on.
I took�my two kids�to Calaway Park today� we arrived at about 2:00pm intending to stay until suppertime or so.
We went in� had a good time (as usual) and left to go home about 5:00pm.
Anyone going into the Calaway Amusement Park in the past will know there are double rows of cars labeled A � Z� A VERY LARGE PARKING LOT indeed.
We go out to the parking lot� walk around looking for the minivan (Plain Jane Dodge Caravan� nothing fancy) and six days prior to my 40^th Birthday� when I was having difficulty locating my minivan out of the multitude of vehicles crammed together, I started thinking that I had �misplaced� my Van like I do with my car keys occasionally.
�I KNOW I parked in the �D� section or damn close to it because it�s the initial of my first name�
Well, after the three of us scouring the parking lot quite thoroughly for the van with no luck, I now come to the conclusion my Van was STOLEN!
We go through the regular hoopla of calling the City Police, where they inform me I have to file the report with the Cochrane RCMP since Calaway Park is �closer� to Cochrane than Calgary.
When was it stolen you ask?? Logically, it was stolen between 2:00pm and 5:00pm. Three whole hours!
I then file the report with them, they tell me the �standard� We�re really sorry, the Van is in the system now as �stolen� but until it shows up (IF) we�ll have to contact the insurance company etc.
By this time, I�ve called my Father-in-Law Jim to ask him if he can pick us up and take us home�. filled out several reports and now wait for Jim to arrive. While waiting, my Daughter tells me her Nintendo DS� two games were in the van as well and was audibly upset that it�s gone and�my Son�is somewhat ticked he just lost two paperback books he brought along for the �ride� as well.
I explain, very calmly, that YES IT SUCKS this happened, but these �things� can be replaced and it could have been much worse! That�s why we pay for car insurance� it will all be fixed, or replaced� no big deal.
Silently, I prayed to my Gods that justice would be done to the bastard(s) that took my Van� on the other hand I thanked the Goddess for keeping my kids and I safe from �harm�; from what �could� have happened.
Jim arrives about 7:45pm to pick us up but announces that he needs gas soon as there were no gas stations the route he took from the extreme south side of Calgary to Calaway Park� so he decides to go the standard route back home through Calgary in order for us to refuel the PT Cruiser.
Here�s where Karma takes place�

We drive on the TransCanada highway back to Calgary and we are all chatting about the stolen van incident and such and as we are chatting, Ahead, I notice a white Dodge Caravan in the right lane with two very distinct window stickers on the back of it� �Funny� That looks like my Van stopped at the lights!�
We pull up slowly behind it and LO and BEHOLD, it�s MY vehicle license plate� For a sheer moment I want to tell Jim to pull up so I can pummel the idiot and take my Van back� then I see there are TWO guys in the van. I reconsider my previous thought and decide to call 911.
About 8:00pm; I tell the 911 operator that I was reporting a crime in progress, tell her the situation and that we are following MY stolen van and the two guys driving it� I give those locations, directions and we follow them from TransCanada highway and Stoney Trail intersection onto southbound Sarcee Trail, past Bow Trail and stop at whatever the next light is. All the while this 911 operator is directing the Police to where this thieves and my Van are.
The 911 operator by now has advised us (the victim as she put it) several times to break off the pursuit of the thieves� and I wholeheartedly ignored the operator for a while I�m excited we might actually catch the bastards.
Then reality hits again� Jim tells me we REALLY need to stop for gas. I FORGOT about that! The orange low fuel light glowing in the PT Cruiser�s dashboard reminding us.
Jim had to gun it to keep up with them at a yellow light, nearly running a red light to stay with them.
I think its about this time the thieves had clued in that there was a beige PT Cruiser behind them with someone talking on a cell phone and seemed to be following them, They change lanes� so did we, and the abruptly turn westbound onto 17 Avenue off Sarcee Trail. They accelerated a bit faster and we accelerated up too� but we decided to break off the chase and let the Police take over.
We met an officer at a nearby market mall (Sirocco Market or something) where I told them what was going on. They took a quick statement and asked me if there were any identifiable marks on the van� and that�s when it hit me!
My Van had a very unique paint stripped rooftop inside the roof rack!! Very identifiable from the AIR!
The officers heard me say this and called in HAWCS (Calgary�s Police helicopter) which was just refueling and was going to take off in pursuit. They told us to hang about for a little while to see if they could capture them soon-ish.
About 20 minutes later the Constable showed up near the gas station where we were waiting to tell us that they �GOT THEM�! He also said that my description of the Van roof was instrumental for the HAWCS Team to spot them just 5 minutes south of where we were in the West Hills Shopping Centre District.
We follow the helpful Constable a little while later to the location of my Van to help them identify �a few� things the thieves were caught with in the Van and to make sure they weren�t our possessions; after they have hauled the thieves asses away of course!
We arrive with many people from the nearby Mall businesses looking on at the spectacle before them. I go take a �look� at the damage� and find my once spotless clean interior completely full of clothing, articles I couldn�t identify, LOTS of Ziplocs full of drugs (prescription, over-the-counter and narcotics, bandages, garbage and all sorts of things.
The Constables ask me if any of this (his hands sweep over the drugs) is mine.
I respond with: �Ummm NOOOO!� and even if it were, I wouldn�t say so�� (trying to crack a joke�LOL) They smiled, knowing I was joking. Thank the Gods.
Surprisingly, the thieves only broke my ignition and the Van was in drivable condition; they spared the steering column method of hotwiring the vehicle, saving me (and the insurance company) at least a thousand dollars of repairs.
My daughter�s cherished Nintendo DS and two games are gone� probably pawned or sold to a passerby at Calaway Park� My air compressor is gone, also probably pawned, although I have NO idea WHY� it was worthless, but valuable within an emergency roadside kit. The thieves not having an ashtray use my plastic console drink holder as an ashtray. Garbage, tools of their thieving trade litter the front cab portion of the floor of the van.
I arrived home at 10:30pm, tired of the days exciting and seemingly karmic events�. Thinking about it now�

1. If they stole the van between the hours of 2:00pm and 5:00pm� and we drive up behind them at 8:00pm just coming into Calgary� Where were they for three hours?
2. Jim normally would take the opposite direction back home from Calaway Park� but circumstances make it necessary for him to come through Calgary instead to get fuel.
3. What are the odds that a victim of a vehicle theft three hours ago would drive up behind his OWN stolen vehicle (at least!) three hours after the crime had been committed?
4. Why had I procrastinated in touching up the white paint on the roof of our Van; that was starting to rust from lack of attention? (it�s a $30 - $40 fix and about an hour worth of work)

Karma IS a bitch� isn�t it??��� LOL for the thieves� IT IS!
I think I�ll go buy a lottery ticket(s) or enter our names in a Dream Home lottery or something� somebody up there REALLY likes me!

The military is ridiculous. I’ll let the video do the talking.