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Poland- land of badly translated english brochures and signs! My favourite so far is “Please be taking care of your belongings or you may be subject to uncontrolled dematerialisation”

Polish people seem quite law abiding when it comes to crossing the road. Rarely does anyone walk against the red man.

Flowers are important. So many people are carrying bunches of flowers and the single red rose is extremely popular. Even numbers mean funerals, or bad things. Odd numbers are way better… Man_of_Steel tells me, when he woos a woman, sending even numbered amounts of flowers to your intended date… is basically saying you’re giving a kiss of death.

There seems to be more daschunds per head of population than anywhere else I have ever seen in my life.

Polish trains are very slow. The butter is unsalted. An ice cream is a “lody”.

I noticed a lot of Spanish words when listening to people’s conversations… so I started asking pointed questions to guy named Piotr (Peter)….

At one point of the conversation, I told Piotr that I wanted to “go around the curve in the road”… and he hesitated on the word curve…. Thinking I’m a smartypants… I try saying the equivalent of “curve” in Spanish… ”Curva” or phonetically ”Curve ah”….

Piotr’s reaction??  ”Oh no no!!! Never say curva….. bad word… woman, prostitute or female dog”

I say: “You mean “Curva” means Bitch? Whore?”
He says: “Oh yes.. very bad word… ”

I say: “Hehehehh Cool, leave it to me to find a really bad word”

‘Nuff said

OK, so as I sit here at the boarding gate in yet another airport somewhere else entirely from where I was 1/2 a day ago (if you get my drift) I think I have finally discovered the secret to getting through that fucking tedious process of having my shoes, coat, groin, and laptop computer screened, scanned, and skimmed: Have a vodka cooler too many prior to standing in line.
Yes [he stated unabashedly] it is true: I have cast a couple of sheets to the wind, and after peeing for what seemed an eternity, I greatly enjoyed having big black dudes with little paddles that remind me more of hazing rituals than security checks run scans on my (what must be suspicious-looking) armpits, groin, balls of feet, and backside. I resisted the urge to giggle, of course; no need to press my luck in this. They must regularly rue the day that they signed up for this job. All the “pretty chicks” in the world can’t make up for a big white guy like me sticking my otherwise private bits out so that he can run a scanner over them.
Additionally, I precariously stacked my shoes onto my laptop computer into an artistic pyramid sculpture before sending it all through the scanner. It was funny, mind you, even if only I could appreciate the humour. And then don’t get me started on the way I stuffed only my toes into my shoes as I walked away from security trailing USB plug-ends and scraps of paper that are supposed to make it to the accounting department of my company, all the time making a cullump-cullump-cullump sound as my broken sandals slap the marble floors.
Hee hee hee … and the time positively flew by … but there are no more bars on this side of the Atlantic Ocean, and now I’m worried I’m going to come down before I get into my seat on the plane! I should have had two Vodka coolers too many …

It’s rare that I get into spasms of hysterical laughter and/or giggling, and even rarer still when I cause this state by myself. For me, at least, it’s a lot like tickling: I just can’t seem to do it to myself.
But last night, in a moment of teenager-like silliness, I did.

See, I was going through the Windows XP \Windows folder, just poking around and seeing what I could see, when I came across the old pre-Windows-95-style help viewer. I still spend 50% of my professional life involved in documentation, so I figured I would “check it out”. Sort of like people who want to take their old leather coat out for a spin–just for the nostalgia of it.

So I opened it, then viewed its own “Help on Help” (a new instance of the program, I noticed … that’s kinda funky). It has changed quite a bit since Windows 3.1 days, so I started doing a text search. Almost stream of consciousness, I typed, “Death heads, floating”.
For a moment, it looked as though the search had found a relevant topic. Which set me laughing uncontrollably for a couple of minutes … something about the silliness of what I typed and the context in which I typed it.

I let myself laugh it out for a while, then got very worried: Does this Mean Something? Am I slowly losing my mind? I mean, this sort of thing amused me when I was 12 … but why should it send me into such a state now?

Hmm …

TURNER Maine - An animal found dead along the powerlines over the weekend may be the mystery creature that has roamed the area for years, mauling dogs and frightening residents.
According to Fox News Wildlife officials and animal control officers declined to go to Turner to examine the remains. By Tuesday, the carcass had been picked clean by vultures and there was not much left of the dead animal.
They claim that this was similar to an animal that was found in Norther Maine a few years ago. The DNA results from that claimed it was a Wolf/Dog Hybrid.

Not quite a wolf and not quite dog, but maybe a pig/hyena hybrid.
Thats all for now.

Mutants Unite!!!