RAVENLOONATIK.COM

** LATEST UPDATE **
Freewebs shut the poor basturd down for displaying pornographic material…
LMAO… For those who didn’t see what I did, lets just say the banner had Gay anal animal Porn all over it…. LOL

Oi !!
Okay… still working on the ‘look’ of the site (minor details) but I have completed the blogging component for Registered users (Authorized by ME)
that would like to add posts to RAVENLOONATIK.COM as a contributor or Author.

When posting a blog entry there is this mysterious MySQL error when pressing the ”Publish” button located in the Dashboard section.
This error occurs… but I’ll be Damned if I know where its coming from!

Even though the error occurs, refreshing the page shows the blog post actually gets published. (There’s something wonky going on in the WordPress Engine)

So! Let me know by email or in person if you’d like to ‘contribute’ to my domain.
I’ll have to “adjust” my disclaimer to protect my ass from my opinionated friends!

Cheers!

Well, here’s the “new” look!
Many of you b*tched and complained that flipping to the Galleries was a pain, because you couldn’t figure out to press the ‘back’ button to get back to the LoonaTiK site…

You b*tched… I listened.

You can now press the random image to go to that image or you can press the “Gallery” link at the top of the page and it embeds the photo albums into the website
** NOTE: to go BACK, click on the RAVENLOONATIK.COM at the top left! (LOL)

Still working on a few things:

• The ability for REGISTERED users to Blog on my domain
• Turfing the “Picture of the Day”
• Bringing back the Calendar in place of the “Picture of the Day”
• Turfing the Search Bar
• Making the sickly ‘orange’ font to a darker red-orange (like in the banner)
• The light grey fonts to a more charcoal font color.

Any other suggestions will be welcome!! Please COMMENT!

Virtues and Vices

A long time ago, before the world was created and humans set foot on it for the first time, virtues and vices floated around and were bored, not knowing what to do.

One day, all the vices and virtues were gathered together and were more
bored than ever. Suddenly, Ingenious came up with an idea: “Let’s play hide and seek!”

All of them liked the idea and immediately Madness shouted: “I want to count, I want to count!” And since nobody was crazy enough to want to seek Madness, all the others agreed.

Madness leaned against a tree and started to count: “One, two, three…”
As Madness counted, the vices and virtues went hiding.

Tenderness hung itself on the horn of the moon…

Treason hid in a pile of garbage…

Fondness curled up between the clouds…and

Passion went to the centre of the earth….

Lie said that it would hide under a stone, but hid at the bottom of the lake…
whilst Avarice entered a sack that he ended up breaking.

And Madness continued to count: …. “seventy nine, eighty, eighty one…”

By this time, all the vices and virtues were already hidden, except Love.
For undecided as Love is, he could not decide where to hide. And this should not surprise us, because we all know how difficult it is to hide Love.

Madness: “…ninety five, ninety six, ninety seven…”
Just when Madness got to one hundred……Love jumped into a rose bush where
he hid. And Madness turned around and shouted: “I’m coming, I’m coming!”

As Madness turned around, Laziness was the first to be found, because Laziness had no energy to hide. Then he spotted Tenderness in the horn of the moon, Lie at the bottom of the lake and Passion at the centre of the earth.

One by one, Madness found them all, except Love.
Madness was getting desperate, unable to find Love.

Envious of Love, Envy whispered to Madness: “You only need to find Love, and Love is hiding in the rose bush.”

Madness grabbed a wooden pitch fork and stabbed wildly at the rosebush.
Madness stabbed and stabbed until a heartbreaking cry made him stop.
Love appeared from the rose bush, covering his face with his hands.

Madness, so anxious to find Love, had stabbed out Love’s eyes with a pitch fork. “What have I done! What have I done!” Madness shouted. “I have left you blind! How can I repair it?”

And Love answered: “You cannot repair my eyes. But if you want to do something for me, you can be my guide.”

And so it came about that from that day on, Love is blind and is always accompanied by Madness.

What if Microsoft made DVD Players?
Here are a few of the things I would expect to happen:

1.   ”Play” would become “Start”. “Pause” would become “Fatal Exception”, “Record” would become “Encrypt”, “Seek” would become “Search My Movie Places”, and “Fast forward” would become “What Do You Want to See Today?”.

2.   Instead of pushing simple buttons, you would have to navigate an onscreen GUI menu in order to play movies. Pressing “F1″ on the remote would bring up a completely useless help system.

3.   There would be no product recalls ever, even for serious problems. You would be encouraged to simply throw away your old DVD player and “upgrade” to a new one for hundreds of dollars, even if the problems with the old one are entirely the manufacturer’s fault.

4.   You would have to forget about returning a DVD Player if you’re unhappy with it. If you tore off the shrink-wrap, it’s yours. If the power supply sparks and sets off a fire in your home, you wouldn’t be able to sue because the end-user licensing agreement absolves Microsoft of all liability for product defects.

5.   Every now and then, your DVD Player would suddenly freeze in the middle of a movie for no reason. Tech support blames the movie. Movie tech support blames the DVD Player. Your neighbour suggests you look for updated firmware. The kid down the street says he knows some registry hacks.

6.   Thanks to fantastic new “ActiveD” remote programmability features, it would be possible for hackers to create “DVD viruses” that propagate over cable TV networks, erasing any DVD in the DVD Player and launching denial of service attacks which periodically shut down cable TV providers.

7.   DVD Players would come with an “End User License Agreement” instead of an owner’s manual, in which you are forbidden to make home recordings of broadcast television shows, lend your DVD Player to anyone else, or take it apart to see what’s inside. Violators would face huge fines and possible imprisonment.

8.   Microsoft would buy up huge amounts of movie content, as well as entering into lucrative exclusive licensing deals with content owners and providers, eventually owning or controlling up to 95% of the movie market. Soon afterwards, they would command 95% of the DVD market (not coincidentally, since they would have modified the video standards so that these movies look better on their DVD’s).

9.   Every two years, they would introduce new DVD’s and pull the old ones off the market. Many of your old movies won’t play on the new DVD Players (particularly if they came from competing movie studios), so you’ll be encouraged to “upgrade” your entire movie collection.

10.  Every two years, Microsoft would “update” their entire movie product lineup. New movies and “remastered” old movies wouldn’t work on old DVD Players, so you would be encouraged to “upgrade” your DVD Player (this works in tandem with the previous item).

11.  The US State Department would launch a lawsuit against them for these flagrant violations of antitrust regulations, but they would vigorously defend themselves, arguing that they have “the freedom to innovate”. The well-oiled political corruption system guarantees their eventual victory through generous campaign contributions.

12.  The latest DVD’s wouldn’t work straight out of the box. You would have to call Microsoft, register yourself in their database, and request a “product activation code”. Every time you hooked up yourDVD Player to a different TV, you would have to do this again.

13.  DVD prices would have risen tenfold over the last decade instead of dropping to a quarter of what they were.

14.  Makers of “universal remote controls” would be out of business, because it would become illegal to reverse-engineer the proprietary infrared control signals. A Russian programmer of universal remote controls would be imprisoned by the copyright gestapo, er- FBI, in order to set an example for the others.

15.  New DVD’s would have “Digital Rights Management” technology, which encrypts your home DVD videos so that they only play on the DVD Player which was used to make the recording. If and when that device fails or becomes obsolete in two years, all of your home DVD movies would become useless.

16.  US Congress would pass a law called the DMCA (Digital Millennium Copyright Act), which will make it illegal to reverse-engineer “Digital Rights Management” technology or even to describe it (oh f*ck… that already happened in real life).

17.  US Congress would debate passing another new law called the SSSCA (Security Systems Standards and Certification Act), making it illegal to own a DVD Player which does not have “Digital Rights Management” built into it (awww sh*t, this happened  in real life too).

18.  You would be expected to periodically update the firmware of your DVD Player. However, even though you have been forced to register, no one will bother informing you when updates are available, no matter how important they are. You will have to inquire for yourself, by checking the official website.

19.  Bill Gates would have even more money to throw around. In order to prove that he’s a nice guy, he will use it to donate Microsoft DVD’s and computers running Windows to schools for underprivileged future customers, er- children, since children in poverty need electronic devices much more than stupid things like textbooks, groceries, smaller class sizes, or clean and safe school buildings.

20.  Movies would cost $200 ($100 if you’re “upgrading” from an “older version”). Of course, the prices must be kept that high because of rampant piracy which eats away at Microsoft’s profits.

Luckily, we don’t have to live in a world like that. Or do we?

Have you ever seen a definition of the derogatory term “politically correct” which cannot be applied to something that you find offensive too?

It seems to me that if Raven finds something offensive, then it’s “offensive”. But if someone else finds something offensive, then it’s just “politically incorrect”.

As far as I can tell, that is the only real definition of “politically incorrect”; things that offend other people, not you.

So when you’re being proudly, politically incorrect, don’t mince words and spray bullshit. Admit that you’re being offensive. If you’re still proud of that, fine. But don’t expect other people to cut you any more slack than you’re cutting them.

Well, after an 11 hour flight from Sao Paulo, Brazil to Chicago… I left there it was +34 Celcius (with 84% Humidity)…
I arrived here in Chicago to minus 21 Celcius.

Holy Sh*t! Who woulda thunk that Calgary, Canada would be warmer than Chicago! I didn’t it could be possible.

After arriving… It took to get my baggage, customs AND yet another security check another hour. Good thing I had a 4 hour layover here.

I went and had a smoke… nearly fell over from the head rush I got from it then I went in search of a coffee.
Then I have to check my baggage AGAIN after going through yet another security check, then I have to go through security to get to the proverbial ‘other side’.

So I do, and find out almost an hour later that the only smoking allowed is outside the airport!!… So, being a total dumbass, I go downstairs thinking that I smoke and come back up the same way….

Ummmm NOT!

I have to go through the rubber glove treatment yet AGAIN (Sixth time today) just to get to the concourse.

I forgot how damned huge this airport is….

Ir para casa a Canadá hoje!  Ciao!

Hello fellow Loonatiks,

Well I’ve been very busy up until Thursday with work and such.

I have been uploading pics from my trip so far onto the Loonatik Galleries for your viewing pleasure.

Hasn’t really been a sightseeing kinda trip… more of a relationship builder trip for the company… but I have been getting out here and there.

This is the hotel I’m staying at… damned wonderful place this is. Treat you like a f*cking King.

Anyhoo… off to the next jaunt.  Ciao!