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On Appearance and Superficiality:
If I say “You have the most beautiful eyes”, that is considered a wonderful, charming compliment. On the other hand, if I say “You have the most beautiful legs”, that’s considered borderline crude. And if I say “You have the most beautiful ass”, that’s completely out of line and I’m a filthy disgusting male chauvinist pig who views women as “objects” and is horrendously “superficial”.
But is that really worse than complimenting a woman on her eyes?
Think about it: what can a woman do about the shape or colour or appearance of her eyes? Nothing; she’s born that way. It’s genetic. But her ass? That’s a product of her lifestyle. A fit, athletic woman will always have a great ass, whereas you can’t have a gigantic wide lard-ass unless you’ve done a lot of things wrong with your diet and lifestyle over the years.
So in a way, a woman’s ass is far more indicative of her personality and lifestyle than her eyes, isn’t it? And that’s why I am not just an ass-man, but a proud ass-man.

On “Faith” versus “Opinion”:
What’s the difference between a religious belief and a personal opinion? Nothing, except for the fact that one of them is so goddamned important that we have to let people carry it into the workplace.
Seriously, can you imagine asking your boss to let you shirk your duties because of your personal opinion? Now imagine telling him that you refuse to do a certain job because of your religious beliefs. Huge difference, right?
But why?
Isn’t it possible for someone to have a personal moral belief that he cares about as deeply as any religious belief? Why, then, does the religious person get an exemption from his job duties while the other person does not?
Why are religious pharmacists allowed to refuse to dispense the birth control pill without getting fired for not doing their jobs? If I’m a truck driver and I think Wal-Mart is evil, why shouldn’t I be allowed to refuse to take deliveries to Wal-Mart?

Hmmm, maybe none of this bullshit should be allowed. Maybe people should be expected to act like professionals, and keep their personal beliefs out of their jobs. And if they really find their jobs morally offensive, maybe they should quit. The idea of someone taking a job and then refusing to do it properly because of his beliefs is ridiculous. Especially when he or she expects to get paid anyway.
At least Homer Simpson has a good reason for not doing his job properly: he’s an idiot. These people are just weasels.

On Islam:
The only thing I find more annoying than Christians mindlessly attacking Islam is Muslims mindlessly defending it. The Christians may be total hypocrites for attacking your faith when you look at the shit that’s in their own Bible, especially the Old Testament. But you people are liars if you won’t admit that Islamic theocracy and fundamentalism is a serious problem in the world, and at present, it’s a gigantic cluster-fuck.

George W. Bush may not have an exit strategy for Iraq, but you people don’t seem to have an exit strategy for fundamentalism, and that’s even worse. What’s more, you can’t just say that the extremists are “twisting” Islam, and then wash your hands of it. You act as though there is only one possible way to interpret your holy books, when in fact there are many, and you simply disagree with the others because they’re different from yours. Well guess what, genius: the fundies think the same thing about you.
That’s the problem with basing a religion upon an appeal to the authority of words on paper.
Hell, people can find loopholes even in the most carefully crafted modern legal documents, and we’re supposed to trust the perfection of a book written by people who didn’t even have flush toilets?

That’s all for now

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Regarding the post “I feel… Violated…. by a 6th Grader”

** LATEST UPDATE **
Freewebs shut the poor basturd down for displaying pornographic material…
LMAO… For those who didn’t see what I did, lets just say the banner had Gay animal anal Porn all over it…. LOL

Meh… Don’t mess with me!

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This is an actual letter sent to the Aways MaxiPad Product Group
Enjoy!  I DID!

————————————————————————————
Dear Mr. Thatcher,

I have been a loyal user of your Always maxi pads for over 20 years, and I appreciate many of their features. Why, without the LeakGuard Core(tm) or Dri-Weave(tm) absorbency, I’d probably never go horseback riding or salsa dancing, and I’d certainly steer clear of running up and down the beach in tight, white shorts. But my favorite feature has to be your revolutionary Flexi-Wings.
Kudos on being the only company smart enough to realize how crucial it is that maxi pads be aerodynamic. I can’t tell you how safe and secure I feel each month knowing there’s a little F-16 in my pants.

Have you ever had a menstrual period, Mr. Thatcher?
Ever suffered from “the curse”? I’m guessing you haven’t.

Well, my “time of the month” is starting right now. As I type, I can already feel hormonal forces violently surging through my body. Just a few minutes from now, my body will adjust and I’ll be transformed into what my husband likes to call “an inbred hillbilly with knife skills.”

Isn’t the human body amazing?

As brand manager in the feminine-hygiene division, you’ve no doubt seen quite a bit of research on what exactly happens during your customers’ monthly visits from Aunt Flo. Therefore, you must know about the bloating, puffiness, and cramping we endure, and about our intense mood swings, crying jags, and out-of-control behavior. You surely realize it’s a tough time for most women.

In fact, only last week, my friend Jennifer fought the violent urge to shove her boyfriend’s
testicles into a George Foreman Grill just because he told her he thought Grey’s Anatomy was written by drunken chimps.
Crazy! The point is, sir, you of all people must realize that America is just crawling with homicidal maniacs in capri pants.

Which brings me to the reason for my letter.
Last month, while in the throes of cramping so painful I wanted to reach inside my body and yank out my uterus, I opened an Always maxi pad, and there, printed on the adhesive backing, were these words: “Have a Happy Period.”

Are you f&*%ing kidding me?!!!!

What I mean is, does any part of your tiny middle-manager brain really think happiness-actual smiling, laughing happiness-is possible during a menstrual period?
Did anything mentioned above sound the least bit pleasurable? Well, did it, James?

FYI, unless you’re some kind of sick S&M freak girl, there will never be anything “happy” about a day in which you have to jack yourself up on Motrin and Kahlúa and lock yourself in your house just so you don’t march down to the local Walgreens (Shoppers) armed with a hunting rifle and a sketchy plan to end your life in a blaze of glory.

For the love of God, pull your head out of your ass, man. If you just have to slap a moronic message on a maxi pad, wouldn’t it make more sense to say something that’s actually pertinent, like “Put Down the Hammer” or “Vehicular Manslaughter Is Wrong”? Or are you just picking on us?

Sir, please inform your accounting department that, effective immediately, there will be an $8 drop in monthly profits, for I have chosen to take my maxi-pad business elsewhere. And though I will certainly miss your > Flexi-Wings, I will not for one minute miss your brand of condescending bullshit.

And that’s a promise I will keep.

Always.

Best,

Wendi Aarons
Austin, TX

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