Things NOT to say you approach someone working in Retail
Things Not to say to someone working in Retail… I’ll relate these as though the “Retail Person” is working in an Automotive Parts department and these are stupid things customers say to me when they first walk up to me (or us)
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1) ”Excuse me… Do you work here?”
My usual response is: “Yes. What can I do for you?” but when I have had to field 20-40 of these requests over a period of 10 hours of putting up with rude, inconsiderate and (for the majority of the customers) completely moronic customers, I will usually let fly one or two of the following replies:
(Keep in mind I’m ALWAYS wearing a corporation issued collared black shirt with a very large Team logo on one side and 1″x3″ big Gold name tag on the other side of my chest)
**** “No… I’m just a huge fan and like hanging out here for 9-10 hours a day. What can I help you with?“
**** “Yes… and all I get at the end of the day is this cool shirt, neck tie and name tag. What can I do for you?“
2) ”Hey there!… Quick Question for ya…”
My usual response is: “Sure, what can I do for you.” Buuuut, when we generally help an average of 300-450 customers in a usual shift and the majority of them approach me with this opening line, I start getting cranky after the 200th time and respond with the following (sarcastic) replies:
**** ”I’m sorry Sir/Ma’am… there is no such thing, but I’ll listen anyway heheheh.”
**** “Quick answer for ya…. No.”
3) ”Hey there!… Can I ask a stupid question?”
My usual response is: “Of course!” Listen people… DON’T say this. It makes you look even more stupid to the person you ask this to.
You could use these retorts:
**** “Can I answer it while sucking on helium?”
**** “Would you believe we sell a meter for that?”
**** “Sorry… I’ve reached the maximum daily limit for those at 8:30 this morning and we opened at 8:00am.”
Feel free to add your one liner openers for more snappy or extremely sarcastic retorts.