Smelly Tennis Balls - Is that Swalls?
I get this phone call from a slightly frazzled Customer Service (Refund/ Exchange counter) asking for some assistance.
This woman comes in and explains that she bought a package of three (brand name) green fuzzy tennis balls a few months ago, but lost her receipt (big surprise) and wanted her money back.
I ask her politely “Why are you trying to return them?”
She replies “She smell horrid… there is this putrid smell emanating from these balls! Here, ssmell them yourself”
I smelled the tennis balls and reply; “Ma’am… they smell like tennis balls.”
I’m currently biting my (bloody) tongue at this point… I respond:
“Ma’am… Without a proof of purchase it is store policy to only exchange for the exact product and we no longer issure store credit vouchers.”
“Well I don’t want these balls… I want my money back”
“Ma’am, as I already explained, I can only exchange them for the exact same product when you cannot produce a receipt or proof of purchase”
She replies (very indignant): “Well I guess I have no choice then. I guess I’ll exchange them then”
I call sporting goods and ask them to bring up another package of three tennis balls. They do so and when he arrives, I open the package and smell the new tennis balls. Of course they smell exactly the same as the ones she’s exchanging them for. I tell the customer this and she applies her so sensitive nose to the new balls and replies:
“SEE!!! These balls smell less sweaty.”
I reply, “Whatever Ma’am” (I secretly switched the original Tennis balls she intended to exchange and the newer tennis ball package) “Please smell all three of these to make sure you find them acceptable before you leave”
She smelled the balls (the exact tennis balls she said offended her nasal passages) and informs me that these are MUCH better and leaves “satisfied”.
1) Can you fucking believe such stupidity?
2) Can you believe she actually fell for the original switcheroo?
3) The definition of “Swalls” is Sweaty Balls